No Friends (w)

Within the walls of my time and space
I fear you because you do not honor my wishes
And because you don’t it leaves me in a Niagara
Everyday I look to breathe, but I drown in the sorrows
Of looking forward into conversing with you tomorrow
Typically, it is no longer a mystery
As the time has already elapsed for your missing me
You see I miss nothing, because each day I live within
I make it my best for it to amount to something
Only to be left again with nothing missing something
Because of existing within a relationship
That will most likely only amount to nothing
Whereas nothing from nothing leaves nothing
A void a hole…. Black, an abyss still intact
As I drift beyond the galaxies to relate that
Only to be comfortable with my mental
Being able to comprehend the lack of the same
from another who expresses
they need from me this
they need from me that
so I down to earth apply my right and left eye
leaving my third closed just so I can try
to at least show that I am interested in another lie
I know the truth and express it
Without trying to try
Where again I express that, I fear you
And not the moment I will die
You see I am already dead
Physically tortured, maimed, tormented,
agonized and sexually crucified
Day by day, I just sit and wait
Wait and sit watch for the signs to analyze why
I am here dealing with false pride
I don’t need pity, forgiveness or a sacrifice
I just want peace through communication
Less having to worry about under or the way I over apply
Tactically the mind capitalizes the weak
As I'm only left with allowing more and more time
To go by when it is today that is the reality
Of my truth that I am finally starting to realize
Now I sit scared for the future
With not enough gauze for me to suture
The hemorrigin of my wisdom that I innocently maneuver
Between the walls, the guards, the winners the losers
The fathers, the mothers the individuals, society,
secrets and all others
This pain to my heart smoothers
Distant as I protect my self-similar to a sister by her brother
Dedicated, educated, spiritually stimulated
Far from duplicated, maybe emulated,
I am, the I was, the confidence, under estimated
Smiling for the wonders of the thought
Reaching for what I ought
As I am a firm believer in first come first taught?
So here, I am desiring to learn again
Only to be left feeling truly alone with

No Friends