I am Not There Yet

Excuse me
Am I really going to
have a reason to
tell the truth and nothing
but the truth to

I don't think you are ready
for me to honestly
be that truthful

You see that will mean
that I will have to
tell you about the times
and not just about the time

I will not share that much
of myself that you already know
I will not offer the light
that shines still
over my head like a halo

The things that I may confess
may leave you in further distress
so I will refuse to inject
my heart's discontent
at this time on the internet

You see my life, my journey
doesn't stop or didn't stop
with you
You see my union shared
with others close to you
didn't block the truth

That is why I cried inside
before I knew what I knew
where in fact you already
had a clue of what I was going to do to you

You were the one that needed
for me to rescue, to relieve you
I was the one that was backwards in my attempts to
please you, ease you or better yet release you

This I will testify to the
moment my eyes laid their
memories on you

From the size to the strength
of your mind and its length
I figured this should be simple
but the little that I knew
blinded and flooded with
the I love yous
and I just want to make you
Happys

I was left feeling
like a little kid with 2 daddies
you see I guess that is why
the step daddy
got stepped on
and the real daddy
got crept then slept on

Something is really permanent
about that picture in my mind
that will soon fade away
with a little time

Now in my sights
I see Sunny days
Sunny rays
40 Degrees Celsius
Pineapple Yellow haze
Real thong for days
Colorful Tropical Lives
and naturally tanned Topical Wives
Sandy Beaches
clear water land breaches
rare breed pets on leeches
Puerto Rico and Jamaica
not too far from my reaches

My type of Lifestyle
can never be rehearsed
or documented

Just thoroughly lived and represented

Oh and one more thing.....
Did you know that my new name will be........
Nah I can't share that yet....
because

I am Not There Yet